Fresh-MAN 15
When you were 15 years old, were you a man or a kid?
Islamically 15 is the age at which Muslim youth are adults. They are accountable for thier deeds, and thier parents are NOT financially responsible.
In todays socity’s culture, parents are responsible for thier chilren untill they are 30. They are required support them while they go to college, get a job, and get going with thier careers, and sometimes when they get married.
How can you expect a young man to become a leader and productive when they are being pampered or spoiled in this manner? When they are spending thier time and energies on Nintendo Wii?
There is no benefit in it for them. Parents say, “They are still young”. At the age of 5, 6, 7, 10...”They are still young”. Once they get to 14 or 15 years old, they are told that they are young adults and can think for themselves. The children get lost between being too young and being too old.
Where do you want your children to be at 15? Will he/she be a leader or a scrub?
posted by AlBaraa @ 11/26/2006 11:27:00 AM
15 Comments:
I want my child to be an Imaam by the age of 15. A leader that will lead docters, lawyers, managers... in their prayer. A leader that will be teaching his followers the beatiful words of Allah.
How to accomplish this goal?
* Listen and read a lot of Quraan while pregnancy.
* After brith, make a special recorder specially for him. Play it whenever he's asleep.
* As he grows as a toddler, i'll start teaching him easy words, i.e: Allah, Ameen, Raab
* At the age of 5 i'll start teaching him the small surahs, by reading it to him, making him listen to it a lot, playing quranic games.
* At the age of 7 i'll take him to a qura'an school on weekends. The rest of the week i'll help him study and memorize.
* InshAllah by the age of 11 he'll finsh memorizing with tajweed.
* At the age of 12, 13 ,14, 15
he'll be a 'naqteen' and i'll aslo teach him the essentials of basic fiqh and tafseer.
Sounds like a plan :)
May Allah make me acheive my goal with all khayre.
I ask Allah to increase sincer leaders in our Ummah.
This phenomenon of parents supporting their children till the age of 30 and beyond is sad, but let their be no doubt as to where the blame lies. The blame for this falls squarely on the parents. It is their generation which has followed islam so poorly. It is their generation which has such a poor understanding of islam. I'm not saying they didn't do anything good, their generation did build many masaajid in the west, but at the same time neglected to build enough schools. Building a school is a more important than building a masjid, once a school is built you can pray in the school. The corruptive affects of public schools in the west have devastated this ummah. People complain about parents pampering their children all the way into their 30's? Well whose fault is it? Are you going to blame the child or the parents who guided them to that state? Medicine is not the only damn profession in the world, especially so if you live in the west, and even more so if you live in the USA. Stop forcing your children to become doctors. Medicine is a great career, but damn it, it's not the only one. If your child doesn't have an interest in medicine then for Allah's sake take your arrogant egotistical self and back off ! You care so much about dunya, you dunya lovers, well when you force your children into careers they have no passion or desire for, when you push them into accepting riba based loans well then you have to accept the evil consequences of your actions. May Allah guide us all and save us from such misguided parents, ameen.
Well, not all parents are misguided walhamdulilah. And in this case i don't think we should lay the blame on the parents only. Children do play a role in the 'papmering' process as well.
In the end, it just depends on the personality and character of the child. I do agree that some things do backfall on the parents. I mean yes,they do build the structure and foundation of the kids at first. However, its kinda hard ot know who to balme when for instance we have a child who listens to what they are taught and you have a child who neglects his parents teaching.
Eventually, some parents might pamper their children while on the other hand, children might pamper them-selves
who's balme worthy? its a 50/50 shot.
Yes it's true, children are to blame as well, but the parents share most of the blame. It's not 50/50 at all. It's more like 70/30.
Fathers need to stop acting like tyrannical dictators in their homes. And stop shouting all the time! That is not the sunnah!
lol @ you people. You people are just speculating and blaming otehrs for no reason. And lol at the post because its just talking smack. First aof all, look at the age we live in and the country you live in. If at the age of 15 you can move into your own house on the paycheck you get from Mcdonalds, I guess you can be financially independent. Its not about parents pampering their kids, its because its impossible for a 15 year to live on their own. This is 1400 years ago. Now at the age of 15 you cant get a real job, cant get a house and cant ge tanythin. So think about the society and age we live in before you start talking smack about parents and kids and scrubs. Belal, lets see you and Nihal move into your own homes and be financially independent. Your both 15+.
Nihal is 14 :-)
btw...I didn't say anything about 15 year old kids living apart from their parents. Parents are islamically not financial responsibility for them by that age meaning, parents are not legally obliged to have to buy them everything.
Kid wants a car, new cloths, toys, games, sports, ect. ect. fine...work for it. Wants to go somewhere...have him work for it.
Btw...the example of RasulAllah (saw) and the sahaba is not for 1400 ago, its for all time, especially when it comes to raising children.
The focus of the post is to make people realize...that Muslim children aren't being raised as leaders.
OUR focus for the NEXT GENERATION should be that. Raising OUTSTANDING leaders of society and the world.
Keeping their focus AWAY from things that are of no benefit such as play station, television, etc such, and gear them toward building STRONG minds, bodies, and souls...
:-)
"Btw...the example of RasulAllah (saw) and the sahaba is not for 1400 ago, its for all time, especially when it comes to raising children."
My point was that back then they didnt have all the extra mandatory bills that exist today. In fact, back then they had no bills so it was easy for a 15 year old child to become financially dependent. Today, at the age of 15, kids arent even legally allowed to work in the US. You have to be 16.
In response to the crazy anonymous poster, parents want their kids to do medicine and other degrees because it makes a lot off money. And you need a lot off money to raise a family and buy a house. They only say do medicine because it is a guarenteed major and they want the best for their kids. They know how hard it is to live in this country and they want their kids to be financially set once they get old enough.
Plus, most parents dont buy their kids playstations. They would rather have their kids doing homework. The only people who get pampered are jewish kids. And parents want their kids to concentrate on school work because they dont want them to end up living in the projects and on welfare when they grow up. Todays day and age is very different. Also, if we didnt have all the doctors in Muslim Communtiy, masajid would never get built and Islamic schools would never come into existence because there would be no funding for it. So anonymous posters need to stop flipping out and writing crazy junk.
Unfortunately hasan mahmood's comments are exactly the type of comments made by parents who emigrated to the west in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. I once again repeat, medicine is a great career, but its NOT the ONLY one! This is exactly why islamic scholariship suffered such a steep decline. It used to be that if one was a bright student they would go into the study of deen and fiqh, but these days bright students are pushed into doing medicine. Not even just the bright ones, most children of muslim parents get pushed into doing medicine. What is the result? One result is that mediocre students end up studying islam and therefore many ulema these days are not that bright. No wonder we muslims don't know anything about our deen, even many of our scholars are lost! These sentiments have been echoed by Shaykh Hamza Yusuf. Secondly, for those of you who don't know, there are quite a few muslim medical students struggling now, who are on welfare, because they are struggling through the study of medicine. They didn't want to be a medical doctor, they were forced by their parents, so now they are having difficulty passing USMLE exams, getting into residencies, finding jobs, and paying back their high interest rate loans. Yes it's true, I know these people first hand and their stories. It's a sad situation. These students who are on welfare and medicaid could have otherwise made a good living in business, optometry, law, pharmacy, dentistry, psychology, academia, biomedical engineering, liberal arts, islamic studies, etc. etc. Medicine is not the only career. There are many other careers out there where one can make a good living and provide for their families. It's sickening to hear that only a medical career will save you from poverty. Sheesh. Allah is the supreme provider. What do you say to all those people who aren't doctors and yet they still own houses and cars and provide for their families? Get real please. Stop damaging the youth. What we need to do is cultivate the interests of our children, not subdue them. What would have happened if people like Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, Dr. Umar Farooq Abdullah, Dr Ingrid Mattson, Imam Zaid Shakir would have become medical doctors? We would be missing out on a lot. The building of masajid do not depend on medical doctors. Allah is the supreme provider. Medicine is a great career, but it's not the only way to help the ummah, if your child doesn't want to be a medical doctor, then stop forcing them! Jewish kids are not the only ones that get pampered, I don't know where anyone got that idea. To say that jewish kids are the only kids that get pampered is totally 100% FALSE. Anyone who ventures out from their self centered egotistical life knows that.
I totally agree with anonymous #2. Here is an equation for all you math lovers out there...
77.85/infinity = 0.
This is a ratio describing our existence. The numerator, 77.85 years, is the life expectancy in the united states and the demoninator, infinity, is the number of years spent in akhira (hereafter or afterlife). So when you mathemitically compare the time in dunya with the time in akhira you get zero! This accurately describes dunya's relationship to akhira. All of us dunya lovers need to stop loving dunya so much and concentrate what we can do in this dunya to prepare for akhira.
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just keep in mind people, that this blog is here for me to post my GEMs and reflections.
You are more than welcome to share your thoughts, as long as they are reflecting on what is posted, and doesn't go in the relm of 'flaming' or bashing.
btw...please space out your paragraphs :-)
Its interesting to know that people are actually reading this.
As for my jewish cousins...welcome! read, enjoy, benefit, and share with others.
just remember this is MY blog, so keep your posts and reflections from MY post ;)
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